mind scribbles for June 20 2000 from terrell neuage visiting Adelaide South Australia

"I believe that fate has brought us here And we should be together But we're not" macy gray "I try"

MOON: 13aquarius13 ~ SUN: 29gemini51 ~ MERCURY: 19cancer44 ~ VENUS: 2cancer27 ~ MARS: 2cancer57 ~ JUPITER: 28 taurus00 ~ SATURN : 25TAURUS32 ~ URANUS: 20aquarius33R ~ NEPTUNE: 6aquarius06R ~ PLUTO: 11sagitaruius02R ~ CHRION: 13sagitarius00R ~ CERES: 1libra04 ~ VESTA: 29capricorn38R ~ PALLAS: 28leo02 ~ JUNO: 26aquarius46 ~ CUPDIO: 3sagitaruis09 R ~ HADES: 19gemini21 ZEUS: 3libra54 ~ KRONOS: 28gemini21 APOLLON: 20libra03R ~ ADMETOS: 20taurus26

 

Dreams. So much is made of them. Martin Luther King had a dream, though some say it was someone else's dream and he repeated it.

Dylan sings 'I"ll let you be in my dream if I can be in yours"

Terrell writes "Pick a dream and stay awake in it".

A once-were-priest from a former formal foreign Order religious group gave me grief over it. Did the religious number on it. Oh we need to be ever vigilant not living in dreams and all. Good golly, can't get away from people trying to save me. My 95-year-old father still prays for my salvation up there in Clifton Park, New York. "Hi dad!" I grew up in a missionary family. Now detest the missionary position. Post-missionary position - that's me. We had family missionaries to China (back at the beginning of last century before they were given the boot), Cambodia, Africa, some other places. To digress just for a second here - to make amends for what I had to put up with I kind of pinched a few suitcases of things these missionaries stored in our basement from their 'missionary work'. Some century old robes and stuff like that. We give. They give. I got.

Now the world coughs and sputters from the love of God these missionaries spread around to the less fortunate.

Dreams! Are we speaking of aspirations? Such as my son's baseball... or my son's piecing....? Or are we talking about the dreams we have when we sleep? The dreams we drive into town for?

Day dreams...I had a dream we were not a dream...

 

I can never sleep alone again

with the dreams I have in my sleep

The person I am is free to love life away

Whilst in my waking times the who I am could not have the same genetic code as

Last night was extra good

The lady in my dream said so too.

When I awoke she was still smiling then as my eyes focused to some distant phase of my being.

I walked out into the kitchen

children somewhere on the periphery of my mist ask if breakfast is ready.

I don't even know her name and she was so good.

 Another one night stand

 Another dream filler come and gone

Every night it is a different possesor

 Ladies of my night

 Women of my life

Months to years I remember them from my dreams

but nothing similar ever happens in my day.

Life can never give contentment when the night is so fulfilling.

Last night she was an oriental.

She was my first Asian lover.

After we mad love she asked me not to leave because if I did she would become danger's sister

But I did leave her and her.

Now in the kitchen I try to recall how to make a cup of coffee.

She had a perfume on I had never sensed before.

Now the smell drifted through the kitchen while I tried to make a cup of coffee.

Soldiers returning from the battle-field say they can smell death before it happens

I could smell evanescent love as the sun rose

spread-eagle across morning's desires

I felt dazed again

it had happened before

Usually I'd awaken during the night

trying to recall that other world

then try to figure out how to bring it into the conscious.

Now it was well into morning

I stood still in the kitchen

My children yelling for breakfast

it was time to catch the school bus

Cartoons were menacing morning's fading breath

the dog whined for attention

I wanted to go back to the oriental lover who said she'd be in danger if I left.

A refugee trapped in my dream world.

I managed to get milk out of the refrigerator

My children needed nourishment.

I looked for breasts which had faded with morning's shadows.

My nourishment had slipped away too, just like my motherless children's had long ago.

I gave them milk and ceral

saw them out the door

watched them catch the Port Elliot school bus.

I yelled.

Children's paraphernalia lay about like the end of every battle.

And as I moved about collecting pajamas, comics, lego, and G.G. Joes I quietly closed my eyes and slipped back into my lover's arms.

 

Dreams of one with conjunct Saturn/Pluto (exact to the minute) and Sun all in Leo whilst semi-squaring Uranus/Mars in Gemini (in 8th), square Jupiter (in Scorpio in first) and ruling Libra ascendant and Taurus Moon with Neptune, ruling fifth in the 12th.

 

there was a point to this at the beginning but I forget what it was.

Sorry.

Deconstructin' with ya next week

 

 

 

 

 

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